5 years

Autumn, the colorful season, is one of the most beautiful occurrences the world can have. Or, the other way of saying it is: Our biological eye, is one of the most beautiful creations in the world. While the chances are, we could end up seeing things in other wavelengths, however, over time we ended up in the narrow 400 to 700nm, and the colors of autumn are fated in the same region.

5 years, are the length of time. Even after 5 years, I could never feel I'm the same person before. My motivation, which I lost, might have been recovered gradually in the process, but things will never gonna be the same again. Seeing a familiar children playground, watching the happy faces, listening to friends' great stories, could still pose an instantaneous risk to my emotion. For all these years, avoiding doing familiar, childhood things has become a norm. It introduced weirdness in the eyes of people, but I'm still not ready, to be the same me again, or, will never ready for it.

Time is flowing, we all are changing. Looking into the mirror, I found a pair of motivation-less, confidence-less eyes. It was completely different, but that is the reality. Time is needed for a rebuild. 5 years were too short for me, but I've learned, how to rebuild myself, steadily over time. it's 5 years, perhaps, I was hoping for more, but I've tried, and I will keep trying.

the end of summer and the beginning of autumn

silence, peace. it was always too silent before the arriving of the natural forces of typhoon in full steam. This time it is no difference. No wind, a complete silence. Yet after this extraordinary silent moment, what we waited for, will arrive in no time. unbelievable, as it is always, these giant creatures, didn't just bring heavy rain and wind, they brought us the clearest sky we have ever seen after each devastation they did. 雨后天晴.

Not every typhoon is bringing out monster as seen in Pacific Rim. So we don't have to fight one. Most of us will just stay home, play some instruments, shut the windows and open the windows 7, well now we are more towards ios7 and kitkat. I'm not really knowing about kitkat the android. But i'm crazy with kitkat the nestle. To summarize it, my subconsciousness of fondness towards kitkat the nestle might have indirectly led me to believe that Japan is the destination i was looking for 3 years ago. Indeed, i like my life now, in term of the amount of kitkat. With the announcement of iphone 5ass and iphone 5死 recently, people are getting crazy again with all the complicated and impossible to understand phone packages. I was lucky enough to be in the group of people whose contracts r not expiring, so that i can save the hassle of choosing between the beautifully, unapologetically plastic, and  the biometric capacitive scanner. Of course, if i asked Siri, my decision making would become lots more easier.

One, can have many personalities at the same time. While during working hours, I "looked" damn serious n focused (to my colleagues). At night, I spent plenty of time emo-ing about home country (not depress). During weekends, i partner my sony nex camera for some scenary shots. I like the nearly dead shutter sounds of my camera, it's time to get a new NEX, perhaps. while in this particular weekend, I'm with one piece grand arena tour @ yokohama (not otaku). We got some good shots where the shuttle mechanism of my camera was jamming again.

秋.... 明月几时有，把酒问青天。。。Autumn, my subconsciousness also told me this is the season i like the most. It is simply the brown n yellow have triumphed over pink and white in my eyes' and brain's color processing algorithm. Not a good time to have one's camera broken during this fantasy-like season so i'll take extra care of it and make sure it will survive the autumn and only die during snowboarding season of winter.

January, winter & chinese new year

January & February this year are quite busy for me, partly because i have some projects to complete at work, partly because i'm in the middle of some training towards running a full marathon next month. I've a humble target, to finish it in 5 hours.

i'm currently a little busy at works. Looking to the bright side, it doesn't bother me at all because i feel glad that in this economically unstable period especially for Japan, i still have works to do everyday. Sometimes maybe i have to work long hours, but it is no different from studying in university. We spent many after-lecture hours doing homework, doing event preparations, doing research etc, of which, if compare to the time i spent in university, i'm still working lesser these days, which explained the decrement of white hair i currently have above my head.

There is a chinese new year next month, which i will spend the time in Japan. Unfortunately this is quite a busy period for me, maybe till end of february. I have decided to go home for 1 week at the end of April, 3 more months to go.

Living in a new country with a new language is a challenging task. While looking back the 2 years times i spent in japan, i was changing from one with high motivation to no motivation and to moderate motivation again. While living in an unfamiliar environment, i had been feeling afraid and less confident, trying to please others, following etc. After spending 2 years here, i'm building up my confidence again slowly and steadily, stop following, back to the one who doesn't live other people's live, back to the one who is not receiving, but exerting influences to his surrounding. The experience here is unique, it taught me how to become myself again. I had gone to new school, new university, new city etc before but nothing is comparable to moving into a new country. The experience is valuable in future in this globalize world.