Just normal 5th summer and normal me

The arrival of summer in Japan made the temperature goes up. But at the same time it brings some nostalgia for me as my country, Malaysia has only a single season all year long. As of this month, I have come to Japan for 4 years and 8 months. If the Japanese language training session in Malaysia is included, this month marked my 5 years in Toshiba. 

Frankly, I couldn't believe i could stay in a single place, in a single company for 5 years. But that just happened. In these few years, I have learned plenty of knowledge and have experienced the different cultures. Life was tough and very challenging, not only in term of engineering works, but also communications, lifestyles, ways of thoughts etc. The ups and downs were huge, sometimes you feel you are worthless, sometimes you feel hopeful, sometimes you feel alone, sometimes you feel motivated. Life is completely different when compare to the times when i stayed in my own country. It is challenging mentally. However, when we learn the steps of how to adapt ourselves into a new environment, life becomes easy and we can go anywhere we want, anytime without difficulty. Become an engineer in Japan is not all about engineering, the challenges include language, culture, thoughts etc. 

I am fortunate to have tried out works in different fields in Toshiba in all these years. From infrastructure system to semiconductor, able to have experienced these different fields gave me a special experience that i am able to look at somethings from different point of views. I believe the world is big, and we can never stop learning in our lives. I should remind myself of the word "lifelong learning" everyday in my life. The world is exciting and we should maintain curiosity in the things we do everyday.

what will you do if you have 4 years in Japan

1st November. this day marks my 4 years in Japan. What will you do if you have 4 years in Japan? these are what i did...
1. read every manga(comics) i like in Japanese!! (crayon shinchan, dragonball, doraemon etc)
2.buy a bottle of 500ml green tea from vending machine everyday.
3.watch the japanese variety shows that no one can understand for 30mins every night.
4.construct my personal workstation-style computer with many-displays-many-harddisks configuration with parts from akihabara!
5. buy a bunch of japanese novels and still couldn't finish even one.
6.join at least a full marathon!
7.buy every available green tea products.
8.realize leaves can be so beautiful during autumn.
9.working with a bunch of talented engineers graduated from top rated japanese universities.
10.cry when heard the "welcome home" message in malaysia-bound flights.
11.change handphone every 2 years.
12.try snowboarding and do it ultra high speed and break your glasses.
13.attend "intensive japanese language classes" for 6 months but know nothing about speaking japanese.
14.go shibuya and feel the world's busiest crosswalk and realize it is not busy at all.
15.feeling excited on 1st november every year and shout "1 year has passed!", "2years have passed!!", "3 years have passed" ..... then that's all.
16.realize life can be so fragile from natural disasters
17.when the earthquake is not strong enough, plz continue working like normal.
18.realize sakura can be so beautiful.
19.read and understand the lyrics of japanese songs.
20.realize how advance science and technology can become.
21.realize why sushi can be so popular.
22.realize beer is cheaper than water.
23.mistakenly take a wrong train even after 4 years!
24.nothing spicy here.
25.bought a sony camera but realize everybody has a nikon or canon.

challenge, motivation.

couldn't help but notice that this winter has been a challenging one. For one, it was especially cold with a few snow storms blowing recently. There were scenes around tokyo and yokohama that we didn't really have any chance to see for the pass decades. Me, as usual, was so excited seeing so many snow falling down from the sky.

This is also a season full of emotions. Attended a few farewell dinners made me realize once again, it is time for some changes to happen. Time is gold, a broken hard disk from my personal computer today has actually reminded me, that time is passing so fast, so fast that the spring is coming again in no time.

Quoted some of my friends : The moon is huge. The moon is beautiful..... indeed, there is more to life if we slowed down our pace, looking at it from a different direction, the same thing might not be the same again.

Motivation, is a challenge one will face during some stages of his life. No matter how strong you are, there is a certain possibility that a psychological challenge might happen. As long as we start believing in ourselves again, nothing is impossible. Be dreaming again, be motivated again, there will be a suitable platform for us somewhere in this world eventually, good luck to us all.

5 years

Autumn, the colorful season, is one of the most beautiful occurrences the world can have. Or, the other way of saying it is: Our biological eye, is one of the most beautiful creations in the world. While the chances are, we could end up seeing things in other wavelengths, however, over time we ended up in the narrow 400 to 700nm, and the colors of autumn are fated in the same region.

5 years, are the length of time. Even after 5 years, I could never feel I'm the same person before. My motivation, which I lost, might have been recovered gradually in the process, but things will never gonna be the same again. Seeing a familiar children playground, watching the happy faces, listening to friends' great stories, could still pose an instantaneous risk to my emotion. For all these years, avoiding doing familiar, childhood things has become a norm. It introduced weirdness in the eyes of people, but I'm still not ready, to be the same me again, or, will never ready for it.

Time is flowing, we all are changing. Looking into the mirror, I found a pair of motivation-less, confidence-less eyes. It was completely different, but that is the reality. Time is needed for a rebuild. 5 years were too short for me, but I've learned, how to rebuild myself, steadily over time. it's 5 years, perhaps, I was hoping for more, but I've tried, and I will keep trying.

the end of summer and the beginning of autumn

silence, peace. it was always too silent before the arriving of the natural forces of typhoon in full steam. This time it is no difference. No wind, a complete silence. Yet after this extraordinary silent moment, what we waited for, will arrive in no time. unbelievable, as it is always, these giant creatures, didn't just bring heavy rain and wind, they brought us the clearest sky we have ever seen after each devastation they did. 雨后天晴.

Not every typhoon is bringing out monster as seen in Pacific Rim. So we don't have to fight one. Most of us will just stay home, play some instruments, shut the windows and open the windows 7, well now we are more towards ios7 and kitkat. I'm not really knowing about kitkat the android. But i'm crazy with kitkat the nestle. To summarize it, my subconsciousness of fondness towards kitkat the nestle might have indirectly led me to believe that Japan is the destination i was looking for 3 years ago. Indeed, i like my life now, in term of the amount of kitkat. With the announcement of iphone 5ass and iphone 5死 recently, people are getting crazy again with all the complicated and impossible to understand phone packages. I was lucky enough to be in the group of people whose contracts r not expiring, so that i can save the hassle of choosing between the beautifully, unapologetically plastic, and  the biometric capacitive scanner. Of course, if i asked Siri, my decision making would become lots more easier.

One, can have many personalities at the same time. While during working hours, I "looked" damn serious n focused (to my colleagues). At night, I spent plenty of time emo-ing about home country (not depress). During weekends, i partner my sony nex camera for some scenary shots. I like the nearly dead shutter sounds of my camera, it's time to get a new NEX, perhaps. while in this particular weekend, I'm with one piece grand arena tour @ yokohama (not otaku). We got some good shots where the shuttle mechanism of my camera was jamming again.

秋.... 明月几时有，把酒问青天。。。Autumn, my subconsciousness also told me this is the season i like the most. It is simply the brown n yellow have triumphed over pink and white in my eyes' and brain's color processing algorithm. Not a good time to have one's camera broken during this fantasy-like season so i'll take extra care of it and make sure it will survive the autumn and only die during snowboarding season of winter.

January, winter & chinese new year

January & February this year are quite busy for me, partly because i have some projects to complete at work, partly because i'm in the middle of some training towards running a full marathon next month. I've a humble target, to finish it in 5 hours.

i'm currently a little busy at works. Looking to the bright side, it doesn't bother me at all because i feel glad that in this economically unstable period especially for Japan, i still have works to do everyday. Sometimes maybe i have to work long hours, but it is no different from studying in university. We spent many after-lecture hours doing homework, doing event preparations, doing research etc, of which, if compare to the time i spent in university, i'm still working lesser these days, which explained the decrement of white hair i currently have above my head.

There is a chinese new year next month, which i will spend the time in Japan. Unfortunately this is quite a busy period for me, maybe till end of february. I have decided to go home for 1 week at the end of April, 3 more months to go.

Living in a new country with a new language is a challenging task. While looking back the 2 years times i spent in japan, i was changing from one with high motivation to no motivation and to moderate motivation again. While living in an unfamiliar environment, i had been feeling afraid and less confident, trying to please others, following etc. After spending 2 years here, i'm building up my confidence again slowly and steadily, stop following, back to the one who doesn't live other people's live, back to the one who is not receiving, but exerting influences to his surrounding. The experience here is unique, it taught me how to become myself again. I had gone to new school, new university, new city etc before but nothing is comparable to moving into a new country. The experience is valuable in future in this globalize world.

Christmas illumination

Somehow, i realize... my passion for language maybe is more than my passion for engineering. Yet again, the love of first sight as it might sound, at the moment when listening to the Irish Gaelic version of Silent Night, sung by Meav Ni Mhaolchatha of Celtic Woman, the beauty of this Irish language has intruded me like a long sword. It made me wondering yet again if Europe will be a perfect future studying/working environment for me.... or Tokyo will still be the best.... Understand Japanese language is still one of the most greatest achievement in my life. It represents the key to one of the greatest science & engineering communities on earth. I learn knowledge through my own ways with my own rhythm and own passion. It might not sound like my boss will like me with this kind of rubbish attitude but this is my way of living and nobody could change it. 

Merry Christmas as it happens, light illuminations conquer everything in Tokyo. The city has everything on 25th December but a holiday. 2 degree celcius might be a little cold, but somehow, it is the temperature where my hemoglobins are at their best. It hasten my desires to go out and run in the cold and work towards my first full marathon in life next year!