creativity

I have a hobby to do something weird with all the ideas that my mind can think of.... i like to experience something that people around me never experience before... i like to do things different from others.... i like to put a lot of creativity in my study... hence.... in another word.. i dont like exam... but i do like design.... i think i will be a design engineer in the future... i'm very happy to be an EE student... knowing that i have the opportunity to involve in those electronic design processes... it makes me excited... electricity can be used in any field in this world... it is the energy of the future... the energy that run our cars in the future.... the energy that helps everything the human dont like to do.... and it is the power to control the world.... the nation that pioneered in electronic system will rule the world.... the nation that pioneered in setting up factories of foreigners will follow the world in behind... 

ok.... so in conclusion.... i like to make souvenirs.... although i dont know how to make a beautiful one..... all my handmade souveniers are ugly... but it represents the sincere gift..... although it is not beautiful.... but i do hope people will like it.... hence.... whatever gift that i would like to present to others..... even a friend that i dont know much... most of them... i will make them myself... but the reasons behind are not that simple... your creativity improved everytime you struggle to think about a new souvenir design.... and this is exactly what i'm looking for... to become a good design engineer... i need those creativities that learned through making souveniers...

last night in penang

the last night i stay in penang is like nothing i have experienced before... i am here... in my house.... the good thing is.... i can do whatever i like.... the bad thing is.... i'm home alone.... but we must always look at the bright side of everything.... this year i have the opportunity of tasting everything people called "penang foods".... coz this year i dont eat at home... i dont have reunion dinner... so for every meal in the past few days... i was able to search for my favourite dishes.... of course.... "favourite" always means "cheap".... "cheap" is always my priority... "tasty" comes second.... but fortunately..... for tonight.... my brother will come back to find me..... then we will go mamak stall eat and have some conversation together.... 

the chinese new year always provide us adequate time to think carefully about ourselves and our annual planning... and yes.... i do think about myself a lot for this chinese new year.... i realized i got frustrated always in the past.... mainly for the reasons when i thought something has went wrong.... but in another word.... we can say that in reality... "right" means majority think it is correct... "wrong" means majority think it is wrong.... and "OK" also means majority think it is OK.... hence... i think i have to understand this... i have to understand that if people think it is "OK".... then i have to control myself... dont get angry.... coz people will always think you are crazy.... for you got angry with things that they think is "OK"... i have developed this kind of behaviour throught my 2 years university life... time to change.... yes... time to change... dont get angry always.... bad for my health.... haha....

chinese new year holiday

there are plenty of wonderful memories when a student like me, go back to my hometown. but this year is a very special new year for me... 

i bought a carton of jolly shandies myself .... then i drank them myself.. i bought a carton of yeos... then i drank them myself... i bought 2 bottles of tiger... i havent drunk them.... i bought a box of new year cookies.... then i ate them myself.... i switched on the tv myself... then i watched it myself.... i switched on the radio... then i listened to the chinese new year songs myself.... i bought the lunch... then i ate it myself... i bought the dinner... then i ate it myself....

but on the bright side, for the first time in years, i have a lot of time to get rest in this chinese new year holiday... and have a lot of time to meet with some old friends... think about my future planning... relax... rest.... and do whatever stuff that i would like to do.... but.... it seems like too many free times for me.... anyway... i will drive back to UM in this coming friday.... and continue to live a busy life there.... happy chinese new year.....!!!

11 January 2009 what a wonderful day

firstly, i would like to write my first paragraph for rubbish purpose, which i wont expect people to understand this paragraph... so just ignore it if necessary.... today i made a huge discovery in my colour sensor. finally, i have found out the real enemy who has twice broke my signal processing circuit in the sensor. a moment ago, i have finally discovered the truth... the signal processing circuit that i designed become so "advance" that my power regulator no longer can withstand the quantity of power need to supply to the circuit, hence my circuit broke down frequently... so i need to modify the power supply again......T.T........

after the next few days, if not mistaken is saturday night, there will be a CC reunion dinner for my college in "new paris" restaurant. by following the tradition, 3rd year students need to give something to all students. but the problem is, for 1st and 2nd years students alone, we have 150+ students!!! walao... so we actually need to prepare up to 150 gifts. it is impossible and unreachable. hence, a lot of 3rd year students choose not to attend the dinner. my roommate is one of them. but unfortunately, this year i decided to go, mainly because i'm very busy every day, hence i need sometimes to relax myself a bit. that dinner will be a time for me to just relax and listening to others talking rubbishes... so i will go.... 

as usual on sunday, i bought 2 newspapers... one is The Star, another one is NST. but i have cut down extremely my consumption and reliability on newspapers. nowadays i dont read them everyday, perhaps only once or twice a week. the reason behind?? of course, i have no mood to read anymore... but i know sooner or later i will reignite and reinstate my feeling towards newspapers, coz i simply cant live without them. i really love them. people said i'm crazy, i still remember when i was in the first year of my university life. i have no transportation. and on every sunday, all the shops in the campus were closed. hence, you cant find anywhere that sold the newspaper inside the campus. hence, i purposely walked 40 minutes in every sunday morning to station LRT "universiti" for 2 rolls of english newspapers. i wondered why there wasnt any english newspaper in college for all of us to read. perhaps this is why we need to waste so much money to set up an english training course for undergraduates before they graduate.

6-1-2009 the time is ticking.....

it was a really busy first week of the new semester for me as i have to settle a lot of class timetable modifications and arrangements as my lecturers are famous of changing timetables without considering others... even other lecturers... the time... for me ... is getting faster and faster... yup.. it's good for me.... i want my life to move on quickly for this moment.... looking at Gaza, then looking at myself... yup... i'm still very lucky to still have a father and brothers.... i need to appreciate every person and thing around me.... i do need to help others who dont have the opportunity to sit down and online like me.... 

it's time for another rubbish paragraph... ok.... so what was i doing for the past few days?? nothing more than producing a few hundreds of circuit boards.... it is one of the parts where i hate most... you need to do the same stuffs everyday and troubleshooting same products everyday... i think i need to assign one person who responsible for production .... then i can continue my research .... 

and this one is one of my most dont-like-to-mention paragraph.... the campus election is just around the corner... and my ex-project, the national blood donation UM station is also just around the corner... but very unfortunately... because the campus election is just around the corner, hence the blood donation campaign will be push to the next-to-just-around-the-corner. if the HEP allows us to continue with the blood donation campaign... i can surely tell you that the campaign sure pecah all the records of past few years leh..... because those rubbish candidates will definitely bring their supporters come together to donate blood... to show how "caring" they are, and to show how "sincere" they are.... then some of the rubbish candidates will berpura-pura faint after donate blood... objective??... to get free publicity... then these rubbish candidates will make all people faint for the whole year after they are voted in to the student council....

ok.... i need to sleep more tonight.... and i realize i like to dream for the past few weeks.... sometimes i dreamt about the people i love... sometimes i dreamt about the people i hate... sometimes i dreamt about the people i dont want to dream about...  i wonder what is my dream tonight......

2-1-2009(FRIDAY)

difficult times keep coming.... my black hair keep turning white.... and the next thing i know.... i keep falling a lot of hair.... i need to sapu them almost every morning.... but fortunately... my hair keep growing at a very very fast pace... i looked very old these few weeks.... there were so much things happened that i cant looked young anymore... the mood has changed, the attitude has changed, the situation has changed, i feel so lonely, i feel so upset about things, i feel so depressed and disappointed about things, i feel so sad.......... my whole family are separating, the people i love keep leaving... i dont know what can i do when i back to penang in this coming chinese new year... i dont want to cry again.... i have cried for 9 days at home last month... yesterday cried again... today cried again... i want a new life.... 

so.... this was something related to my emotion... i was a very alert, sometimes emotionless person when i was young, probably in secondary school. i could control my every emotional moment precisely, but not now... definitely... i become so emotional... things keep happening... my heart keep breaking.... and the next thing i know... i want a new life.... 

a new life.....

a life that i can do what i like to do... research... developments... designs... organizers.... leaders... talk... talk... talk...

a life that there are people who can talk rubbish to a weird creature like me...

a life that i'm given various opportunities to upgrade and expose myself....

a life that i dont need to talk chinese to others......

a life which i dont have now.....

a life that everything start from zero..... people said we will be in a very difficult situation everytime we start a new life in a new place... but i guess not me..... i will be happier if i have the opportunity to start a new life.... i really want to leave..... 

1-1-2009

Happy new year............!!!!!!!!!

a new year.... and a new beginning.... a wonderful day .... and a colourful day....

for the past year.... there were so much ups and downs happened to me.... so ... i rate it as an unpredictable adventurous year. but basically, what i planned to do last year have been completed. actually i have achieved more than what i want... i really very happy about it... perhaps people may feel what i was doing was a normal stuff, nothing special. but, for me, again, i think i have achieved more than what i planned to achieve. especially today, where i have successfully write my first truely own algorithm for colour processing... sounds like rubbish.. right?? haha... nevermind.. basically these were some parts of what i was doing last year... but still struggling to adapt to the condition and the fact that i have lost my mom and my grandmom last month... i really struggling for it.... hence, if let say.. i really have the opportunity to change my university and start a new life in a new location... i will go immediately... and without any hesitation i will..... unfortunately... it is very difficult to make it happens... unless someone comes to me and helps me "run away"... then i will run away without turning back.... coz i urgently need a new life and a new starting point... 

but unfortunately, i cant make today my new starting point, as i have said, i'm still struggling with my condition, a lot of people asked me to go do charity, but sometimes i realize that i'm the one who needed help.... and i think what i'm doing everyday is enough for me.... having vegetarian meals, help others in university, teach others with the knowledge i possed... sometimes going back to visit former teachers, give advice to those young students, i have done all of these from time to time. 

but there are always some downsides after all these stuffs... for example... i still need to do those laboratory cleaning job alone... yup... alone for the whole year.... after i have taught my coursemates so much stuffs.... it's really heart-broken that scared me away from doing too much "charity".... then come to the vegetarian stuff... some people will have this kind of attitude towards me :" you think you are vegetarian will be very "yeng" meh?? i also can eat mah...." hey.... tolonglah... i eat sayur also disturbing your harmony ah??? these are few of those which are some downsides in my situation... but actually i cope with it pretty well... i have "see through the reality" by dont depend on others.... and let people talk what they want to talk....

ok..... enough.... bye for now.... as i want to continue with my next adventure.... digital signal processing... it is something that i love so much since my secondary school day... when i was really very interested in building a hi-fi sound system myself... these will be my adventure for this new semester... tata.....